stage 6-10= spliting apart
Stage 1: Initiating: there will be self-presentation and both partners tend to be "cautious" and safe
Stage 2: Experimenting: where self-disclosure and reciprocity commence.
Stage 3: Intensifying: increased commitment and awareness. disclosure of feelings.
Stage 4: integrating: Encompass their social network, coupling of individual characters as a relational unit.
Stage 5: Bonding: significant public rituals such as marriage/engagement.
Yes, why did i describe this model out when my title is the name of a restaurant? Behind this well-known restaurant lies a solid marriage, which helped both couples sailed through torrentous storms.
Bernie Utchenik, man behind the burger and steak chain had two failed relationships before finally venturing into the third and final one with Mrs Faudziah Utchenik. Mrs Utchenik herself had ended a 14-year marriage with two kids.
They first met in 1997 in a bank when Mr Botak Jones went to the bank to open a personal account. She was the bank officer assigned to his acccout. at the beginning, their conversations were all business. each thought that another relationship was impossible, prior to the failed ones. (stage 1). their friendship blossomed then on and they met casually often as their work place was in the same area. soon they were at ease with each other and was disclosing more about themselves. (stage 2).
Mr Utchenik finally mustered enough courage on a morning of 1998 and "tested" her Faudziah's reaction towards the view of marriage. she told him she did not like the idea because of a soured 14-year failed marriage. He tried the same sideways tack again and she finally complied with her feelings. Faudziah agreed to tie the knot on Valentine's Day, 1998. (stage 3 & 4). He converted into a Muslim and they had a small traditional Malay wedding in the tampines home of her parents. (stage 5)
yes... why did i describe the whole marriage process when my title is Botak Jones?? it is because without her, Bernie would not have had opened the famous restaurent. her presence and encouragement was crucial to him when his business failed and they had to lived on instant noodles. even during the period of being jobless and Bernie had to sold off his Land Rover and Harvey Davidson motorcycle, she did not leave him. at times, she would encourage with "tough love".
The initating of this relationship till finally bonding was certainly very encouraging and invigorating. Today, Botak Jones own more than 10 outlets in SIngapore and is continuing to expand. Many are attracted to the large portion of meals and the variety of interesting dish names such as "how's salad", "whoopass cheese fries" and "Lots of cheese sandwich". the description of each dish is interesting and entertaining to both new and existing consumers.
8 comments:
a very interesting read, and the concept of the knapp's model was applied well. indeed, many romances follow this model of development, from the initial stages of coming together to the breaking down stages of coming apart should the relationship fail.
however, i believe that not all relationships follow all the stages. some will skip the earlier stages if they jump into the relationship too hurriedly, and often end up in demise. do u think all relationships should follow the stages in order to be successful?
I do agree that without Mrs Botak jones, there wouldn't be Botak Jones (The restaurant). Indeed, the stages of relationship or processes are pretty crucial especially in its initial stage.
Relationship is like having a meal as highlighted by an author "Joshua Harris" One should not rush in its stage for example, in a ten course dinner, each dish will be served and the one who is eating should enjoy each course and not rushed through it.
Once again, pardon me for my lousy English...
I like reading real life stories :)
I think that relationships are usually developed quite naturally. Therefore, couples seldom think about the exact stages they're at. In this case, we can see how both parties have took the initiative to know each other and the turning point came when Mr Utchenik took the risk to confess his feelings, even though he had failed the first time. For that move, I would admire his courage becuase it often encompasses a lof of risk factors. And one never knows when the woman would just splash a cup of water on his face. haha...
Nice break down of Mr Jones relationship. I wonder if Knapp should have add Chance in the coming together stages since all would not have happened if they don't meet.
the pic defenitely stimulated my stomach juices. and the application of knapp's model? my brain juice.
kudos to both mr and mrs.jones. i'm amazed at her willingness to accept mr.jones' past, even more so because of her own experiences of a bad marriage. and at his determination and perserverence.
it also goes to show "behind every successful man there is a woman"
wow. i never knew the story behind botak jones. i feel that most relationships follow the stages. however i personally feel that no 2 relationships are similar. and they spend different amounts of time at each stage. not only that but each partner may be at a different stage at one point in time.
It is touching this story. Who could have known that the ever jovial Botah Jones could have such a beautiful love story that contributed to his success today.
As they say, behind every successful man is a woman. So very true in this case. Let's hope we can see many more success stories of this sort.
woah. touching story.
and, I can see that you have a great understanding of the theories. Good analysis done.
yijing
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